We need to transcend romantic delusions and fantasy feelings and build our loving relationships centered on Krishna
This is the month of Valentine’s day, the most celebrated day for lovebirds to express their love for each other. Lovelorn majanus wooing for lailas is no uncommon sight on this day. In fact, so many love songs of Bollywood sing the story of the unrequited love. And such love stories and examples could invariably be found in every corner of this world. Most Indian movies make their business with stories of two-star crossed lovers with their feuding families, their songs or soliloquies in separation and ultimately their phenomenal union. No wonder, young lads growing with these stories dream of their Juliets and lasses like Cinderellas eagerly await for their princes. And the corporate world is always on their toes for such opportune moments to cash in on people’s emotions by endorsing and promoting days like these.
Sages and seers of truth of various traditions, however, define love as life meant for pleasure of the beloved, unconditionally and uninterruptedly. To quote one of my spiritual mentors, “Love means to serve, and to serve means to please.” Love is selfless in nature. Such love reaches its complete perfection when the beloved object is Supreme Lord. In true love, the lover loves not only his or her beloved but everyone else connected to the beloved. When love is reposted in God, such love is naturally manifested for all living entities as they are also connected with the Lord. Because of such love, great saints and divine teachers could surpass bodily limits and fight against so many obstacles to express their compassion to all living entities. And there are countless examples of such personalities in every single genuine tradition round the globe. But that which is portrayed as love in modern times is limited to superficial bodily attraction and with the ultimate desire for consummation, often in unlawful and irresponsible way. Such love is selfcentric, conditional, and fleeting in nature.
There is an easy way to understand this fact. The spoken or written words permeate the level of consciousness or intent of one’s heart. There is no dearth of poems, haikus and messages on love, exchanged between couples on this day. One can easily get a glimpse of the superficiality in the modern-day love from study of these texts. Most of these texts generally speak of selfish desires to be in company of other for some mental or social happiness or gross desire for physical enjoyment (you just need to listen to any bollywood love song to convince yourself of this). Sometimes, passionate lovesick heroes talk of sacrificing life if the beloved is not attained. But such frustrated sacrifice of life appears despicable, when compared to a blissful life of sacrifice for the pleasure of the beloved.
To understand the nature of true love we have to study lives and literatures of spiritually realized people in loving devotional service to God, or Krishna , who were completely selfless and free from any tinge of false ego. In my little study of their literature I found it imbued with superlative form of love for God higher than anything seen or heard about love in this world, testimony to their intense feelings of belongingness to the Lord.
These literatures are not just mental imaginations or intellectual juggleries for cheap recognition, but pieces of heartfelt, truthful realizations. Without fail, these texts charm me every time I read them. These literary masterpieces have been a great source of inspiration in my spiritual life and it won’t be an exaggeration to say that my devotional life sustains itself thanks to such texts. One can easily understand the depth of their love from their compositions. In comparison to this diamond-like love, mundane love appears just as broken pieces of glass.
Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura writes in one of his songs: jaoa-kavya-raso na hi kavya-rasau kali-pavanagaura- raso hi rasau: “The taste of mundane poetry never provides the sweet taste of actual poetry. The sweet mellows of true poetry are verily found in descriptions of Lord Krishna appearing as Lord Gaura, the savior of all souls in the Kali-yuga.”
In essence, if we want to be an actual connoisseur of true love and the associated bliss, we should take inspiration from these realized souls and should not settle with anything less offered by mundane love of this world, for only such love can sooth the innermost desire of everyone’s heart – to love and to be loved.
Here are a few examples of such love-filled passages:
“O Lord Hari, it is not to be saved from the dualities of material existence or the grim tribulations of the Kumbhépäka hell that I pray to Your lotus feet. Nor is my purpose to enjoy the soft-skinned beautiful women who reside in the gardens of heaven. I pray to Your lotus feet only so that I may remember You alone in the core of my heart, birth after birth.”
– Mukunda-mala -stotra 4
“My mind cannot turn from Sri Krishna's lotus feet, even for a moment. So let my dear ones and other relatives criticize me, my superiors accept or reject me as they like, the common people spread evil gossip about me, and my family’s reputation be sullied. For a madman like me, it is honor enough to feel this flood of love of Godhead, which brings such sweet emotions of attraction for my Lord.”
– Mukunda-mala -stotra 42, by King Kulashekhara
“O Lord, I am just like a puppet in Your hands. So if You have brought me here to dance, then make me dance, make me dance, O Lord, make me dance as You like.”
– Srila Prabhupada in his prayers on the Jaladuta Ship
“May I be born again even as a worm, so long as I may remain Your devotee. I have no desire to be born as a Brahma averse to You.”
– Saranagati 5, by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura
“The Supreme Personality of Godhead said to the brahmana: I am completely under the control of My devotees. Indeed, I am not at all independent. Because My devotees are completely devoid of material desires, I sit only within the cores of their hearts. What to speak of My devotee, even those who are devotees of My devotee are very dear to Me.” – Srimad – Bhagavatam 9.4.63
The Journey from Mundane to Divine
Experiencing such higher states of loving affairs with Krishna is not a one-day chore. Rigorous adherence to regular spiritual practices in the company of those who are advanced on this path and fortitude to avoid all that is irrelevant from this purpose gradually purify our heart. Then one develops firm faith in the Lord and devotional life as being the only meaningful way of living life. Then one develops intense taste for hearing about Krishna or seeing His form. Such taste is precipitated to intense attachment, which leads to emotional exchanges with Lord and firm love for Him gradually.
This journey of our attachment from mundane to divine is testing and time-taking but equally blissful and fulfilling. Although at our stage we cannot experience so much love for the Lord, it is easier to experience God’s love for us when we are always mindful of the gifts we are always receiving from Him and how He facilitates our journey towards Him by personally coming here and giving glimpses of His loving reciprocations with His devotees to charm our hearts. He also gives us guidelines to attain him by giving us scriptures. And He sends his devotees to guide us and shower His love on us as His true representatives. We may be struggling at our own levels, but examples of great devotees from scriptures and their love for the Lord is our true inspiration to continue our practice until we attain the cherished goal of pure love.
With such an inspiration, when we begin and end our each day reading, applying and relishing divine literatures having expressions of the love of Lord and His devotees for each other, each day becomes a special day deserving a celebration practically expressed through our heartfelt service in loving relationship with Lord. Services like singing, dancing, cooking, worshiping, praying or doing anything in relationship with Krishna under the guidance of His expert servants act like an envelope to convey our loving feelings for the Lord. Exchanges of such loving feelings are a true joy of soul and celebration of Valentine’s Day, every day.
Tushar Mandada is a resident monk at ISKCON Pune. He teaches Krishna consciousness to college students.