Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour
When you have bid your servant once adieu.
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought
Save where you are how happy you make those.
So true a fool is love that in your will,
Though you do anything, he thinks no ill.
(Shakespeare, Sonnet 57)
Krishna is the Divine Lover in the Bhagavad-Gita. This means little to most men today, but when we realize that the entire creation is the Bhagavad-Gita, then we can see that this applies to us. Krishna is our Lover. We are His creation, and He is the Lover of the creation. Like the clever Lover that He is, He hides Himself from us at times so we may long for Him and call to Him. His love for us is actually very great, so great that we cannot begin to comprehend it. It seems to have a tinge of the diabolic in it when He hides Himself from us, but actually He does not hide Himself from us. He is before us all the time. We are simply searching for Him always, but do not recognize Him when He is before us. He is the Lover who satisfies even our smallest needs. Even our remotest desires come from and are directed to Him. His love is really not a matter of genitals, of material love-making, though that element is present. He is even a coarse, material Lover, if this is the way we want Him. But actually this is symbolic of His real love. If His real love were totally manifest to us, we would melt in its fire. His real love is there, but we have up to now been satisfied only with its symbols, with tokens of His love, and have interpreted these on the level of love between humans. Love between humans is on a finite, timely and limited plane. But love between man and Krishna is infinitely more complex. This courtship takes place over millions and trillions of years. For millenniums our individual souls have been wandering throughout the universe, following desire after desire, chaotic, lost to that eternal Lover who can truly satisfy us. For so many lives we have been confined to wandering in these endless rounds of birth, old age, disease and death. All this time our real Lover has been watching and waiting for us to turn to him. Before the beginning of this particular creation He has been watching our progress, our purification, waiting until we finally face Him, until we finally put aside our play, make-believe lovers and turn to Him Whom we truly love and Who can truly answer us.
Knowing Him, feeling His presence, is an excitement far greater than any teenager's excitement on her first date with the boy she loves. Krishna is not a one-night date, nor is He only a partner for a lifetime. He is the Eternal Lover, His love is not timely, finite or limited. His love is eternal, infinite, and boundless as the great ocean of space. For the soul who loves Him, He plays endless carols of joy. He plays grand symphonies. He is the Lover with the flute. He sings rock and roll songs and strums a guitar. He plays piano, cymbals, drums. His symbolical manifestations are infinite, He sends numberless messengers, but His devotee is only made impatient by them. His devotee knows that these are only symbols of the Lover, that His avatars are only indications of His courtship. He drops signs and loveletters between cracks in the pavement. He writes His messages across the stars. Or He places them in little corners and crevices for us to stumble upon. These signs only drive the devotee madder for Him.
We really long to see His face, His true, eternal, spiritual form. We want Him to take us away, to devour us, to treat us as He likes cruelly or friendly anything rather than neglect or forget us. We would rather be cast in hell and have Him conscious of us than to be put in a paradise of material enjoyments and have Him forget us. For we know it is only He who can satisfy. Everything else is a mockery, a taunt. But then we begin to wonder how we can ever warrant His love. When we look at our miserable sinful lives, we wonder how we can ever be worthy of Him. A beloved must be worthy of the Lover. Our only hope is that our pitiable, hopeless condition makes us more lovable to Him. Our only refuge is in totally surrendering to Him, whether He wants us or not. One who loves someone does not wait for his Lover to move. He moves first, makes the first overtures to his Lover. We must begin to make overtures to Krishna, to think of Him constantly, to pray to Him, to offer everything to Him, to deny all others but Him, to be satisfied with nothing, with no one but Him alone. We must disdain any earthly facsimiles, all symbols. When we see beauty on this earth, any bodily beauty, we must remember that it really radiates from Him, that it is only a symbol of His beauty, a minute fraction of His beauty. When we feel the slightest desire or love for anything, we must realize that this desire and love are really for Him. When we see splendor and magnificence, we must be all the more aware that these are but His footprints. Many of us know what it means to be in love with another person the anxieties, the tremblings, the sudden heartbeats, the loneliness, the constant dwelling of the mind on the lover, the calling of the beloved's name, the hearing of the beloved in any piece of music, the seeing of the beloved in a painting, the impatience to have the beloved always near, the awful dread lest the beloved be secretly indifferent. All these are on a small, finite scale. All this can be felt by one person to another. All this is felt by one fragment of illusory energy for another fragment of illusory energy. And such feelings only last comparatively short times. How much greater must these feelings, thoughts, passions be between the soul and the Divine Lover? Especially when we realize that love for others has really been love for Him disguised.
When we shake off the disguise, our love stands naked and unashamed. But our love is finite it can never compare to the love of the Divine Lover. That which He feels for us we cannot comprehend. We can dissolve or swim or drown in His ocean of love, but we cannot comprehend it. It is limitless. We can rest or doze on His breast. It is limitless. His shoulders that lift us are mountains, His chest fields of grass and golden flowers. Resting on His Body we are carried eternally. There is no end to His glories and attributes. His glance is the creation, His voice the origin of all sound, His call our friendly awakening. How can we resist such a Lover? How unhappy we must be when He is not near, how small and miserable and incomplete. How much would we prefer death to being separated from Him. But we do not really love Him. That we live this miserable life on earth is testimony that we do not love Him. But now we should prepare for Him, wait for Him to call and take us out of this vile, loathsome, diseased bodily dwelling. We must wait for Him, as He has waited so long for us. We must prepare for Him. We must prepare to be worthy to meet Him for whom we pine, the Lover True for whom we long, to meet Him finally, face to face.
When asked if he were a devotee of Krishna's, Lord Chaitanya said that he was a devotee in name only, that His crying for Krishna was only show for the masses, that if he were actually a devotee, he would have died long ago rather than have tolerated being separated from Krishna for even a moment. If we really love someone we don't sit in a room calling his name. We go after him, sacrifice everything to be with him. We all know this to be true. It is in this way that the soul of man longs for Krishna. As long as we are separated from Him due to our entanglement in these physical bodies, as long as we put wife, family, money, country, occupation before Him, we cannot have Him. Even the highest demi-gods do not long for Krishna as man can long for Krishna. The demi-gods enjoy fantastically long lives of material pleasure and, although they are subservient to Him, they do not long for Him. They have to take rebirth on earth in a human body for their final liberation into Krishna's Kingdom. But man's life is really ideal for seeking Krishna. His life is too short and too unstable to expect any real happiness on this earth. Yet he lives long enough and is sufficiently intelligent to realize all that is necessary for liberation. He gains liberation when he fully understands that Krishna is everything, the Fountainhead that brings into being the entire manifested universe and dissolves this universe, all within Himself. "By Me, in My unmanifested form, are all things in this universe pervaded. All beings exist in Me, but I do not exist in them." (Gita, 9.4) The man who does not enquire after Krishna is throwing away the most valuable prize in the universe, for he is actually throwing away a jewel for stones and committing suicide thereby. He foolishly tries to squeeze a brief seventy years of pleasure out of his body and says, "To hell with my eternal spiritual life, to hell with Krishna. Let me enjoy myself while I'm living here." Or, in his frustration he seeks after "void." Or he sleeps to forget everything. Such a man is not even on the level of the animal, for such a man betrays his own divine nature, whereas an animal is being true to its nature in leading its animal life. The animal life is meant for an animal, but it is not meant for man. Man's life is intended for enquiring after God. Man's life is intended for the pursuit of Ultimate Knowledge, which is God. Krishna, the Personality of Godhead, is Bliss-Knowledge-Absolute. Our enquiry after these things finally leads us to Him. "At the end of many births the man of wisdom seeks refuge in Me, realizing that Vasudeva is all. Rare indeed is such a high-souled person." (Gita, 7.19) Man is intended to ask, "Whence this earth and these heavens? And these lands and seas and countries? And myself? My body? How is it formed from this earth, air, water and soil? How from the progeneration of my parents? Did I exist before my body? If so, how? And what about after death? How is the mind, the intelligence, different from the body? And how is the soul different from the body? I have heard that my sould is immortal, but what part of me is my soul? And this part of me that is my soul, is this also the Supersoul? Is this God? Or is it