It is so important to feel loved in life. People secretly wish, “If only someone loved me unconditionally. . . .” But for most, that remains a wishful thinking for their whole lives.
Well, you may be thinking, “Oh no! There you go again — ’Krishna is the only one who loves us unconditionally, He is our ever well-wisher . . . ‘ I know it all.”
“Give me a break!”
But wait — there’s good news! You can come close to receiving love even in this material world. Yes, it’s true and very much possible.
The formula is “Give it first, and don’t expect it.” Whether you like it or not, when it comes to love, this world operates on two principles: ‘In giving you receive’ and ‘expectation is the seed of misery.’
To put it simply, to feel loved you first serve selflessly and give love unconditionally. Then you wait, without expecting anything in return. And lo and behold, people do reciprocate, and when you get love, you are grateful, but if you don’t, you aren’t disappointed. Maybe you are, but surely, you won’t be discouraged to give love to others.
“But,” you may protest, “How do you expect me to only give? And how long should I keep giving if I get nothing in return?”
Do not get disheartened — it is just a small change.
Make a little shift in your expectation. Instead of desperately wishing that the person you love reciprocates with you, adjust and fix your focus on Lord Krishna . Get frantic for Krishna to respond to your love calls. You may cry, demand, beg, plead but don’t give up until He answers. And surely, you won’t be disappointed. His Holiness Bhakti Tirtha Swami would say that his mother taught him a fundamental prayer code: “Pray, pray, pray until something happens.”
Lord Krishna never deceives us. He always gives much more than we ask from Him. But He loves to play with His devotees first — that is common in love games, right? Krishna tests to see if we are really keen on feeling loved by Him. Shed a drop of tear as you devotedly seek His love, and He is there, filling your heart with abundant joy!
Having experienced that joy, you would happily give yourself to others. And yes, people in this world surely respond to selfless love. That love only humbles us, and floods our own hearts with gratitude. Cultivating gratitude and humility nourishes us spiritually and fills our heart with richer love. Then it is all the more easier to give ourselves to others. That is the virtuous cycle that traps one who turns to God first, and gives himself or herself totally to others.
“Let Krishna tightly embrace this maidservant who has fallen at His lotus feet, or let Him trample Me or break My heart by never being visible to Me. He is a debauchee, after all, and can do whatever He likes, but still He alone, and no one else, is the worshipable Lord of My heart.” (Caitanya-caritämåta Antya, 20.47)
Vraja Bihäri Däsa holds a postgraduate degree in International Finance and an MBA from Mumbai University. He is a resident monk at ISKCON Chowpatty and an active teacher of bhakti-yoga. Visit his website: www.yogaformodernage.com