Toddling and stumbling the three years old me,
With fingers in the mouth my school I went to see
Terrified, I was when my mother left me alone,
Helplessly, I cried, “I want to go back home”
The seed of attachment was already sown,
Alas! Goloka, the Godhead, but if only I had known.
Then in college, I went not with the usual motive,
But had a strong desire to attract the most attractive.
I did my best in campus and outshined the rest
Felt great as the most Attractive was impressed.
The seed of lust and passion had already in me grown
Alas! Syamasundara, The All – Attractive, but if only I had known,
Then a leader, I posed as a man quite responsible,
Eager to sacrifice my life for the cause that was noble.
I worked and I slogged and never did I pause
For nothing to me was greater than my cause.
My false ego had made me the puppet number one
Alas! Visnu, The Sacrifice, but if only I had known.
Then a philosopher, I guessed, “May be this, May be that”
The ultimate truth, I tried to fathom exact.
Intoxicated by the philosophical entertainment
I rotted in the filth of useless argument
Except Nescience, what else could I learn?
Alas! Ananta, The Unfathomable, but if only I had known.
A success journey, my life, I called all the while,
Coz, I grabbed all that I wished, at every mile.
Oh, so cozy the warmth of success embracing me felt,
All my enemies in front of me they bowed and they knelt
With time the destroyer, far away all that has blown
Alas! Maya, the cheater, it was, if only I had known
Fortunate though, I am, O Master, to receive your grace,
While I am still breathing in this human case,
Still amongst devotees and not in hell
Still counting my Ochatters before the final bell
You have done everything possible to save this soul so fallen
Alas! The meaning of surrender, but if only I had known.