What measures will you take to resolve a relationship problem?
The Ship of my relation has been amidst storm always. I wish it was a boat; it would be easier for me to handle. Since the time I have started my voyage on relations, I have been struggling to sail my ship on a straight path.
Firstly, I wasn’t aware where I was heading, but now by the mercy of devotees I know that my destination is Krishna. But that doesn’t make the journey easier. Storm has intensified, winds are blowing harder, and my sail seem to blow away. Parents complain that I don’t have time for them; old friends feel I have changed, people in office find me uninteresting, and with devotees I muddle every second day. Whenever I have decided to resolve a troubled relationship, I have imply walked to the person and said, “See, I love you. . .” and hug him and there is peace. Ultimately, as Mahanidhi Swami says, “In bhakti we don’t depend on our strength; we depend on Krishna’s strength.”
Lord Krishna is our universal father and we are all His children. To please Krishna it is imperative that we have good relationships with everyone especially with devotees. To quell any misunderstandings, we should serve others without expectations and not deal whimsically. We should respect other people’s viewpoints. In case of disagreements, it is better to discuss and resolve. We should also abstain from backbiting. We must sincerely practice Krishna consciousness and serve the devotees. Krishna, being in everyone’s heart, will purify our consciousness and give intelligence so we can forgive and forget whatever slights we may feel from each other.
(Purushottam K., Kolkata, WB)
To advance in spiritual life we need two things: our endeavor and Krishna’s mercy. Similarly, to resolve a relationship problem with someone, we must honestly endeavor to resolve the problem through impartial dialogue, and we must simultaneously pray at the lotus feet of Lord Damodara , Krishna, that everything works out well. Seeing the other person as a son or daughter of Krishna and trying to serve him or her rather than being authoritative may appease the other person and could go a long way in resolving many relationship problems.
(Aashish Mungekar, Mumbai, MH)
Materialstic relationships, with a few exceptions, are bound by selfish, rigid limitations. The moment one gets to know the other person’s limitations, a chain reaction begins that shatters all tall expectations, the basis of such relationships.
Any relationship problem occurs due to wrong self-identity. True self-identity takes one beyond the self-imposed limitations and bindings. With the true knowledge that all souls are part and parcel of the Krishna, all relationship problems vanish. Problems exist because of the absence of right knowledge, not because there is no solution for them. Thus, to resolve someone’s relationship problem I would try to guide the person toward spiritual understanding, toward Krishna consciousness, and toward the devotees of Krishna, whose mercy is bound to resolve all problems of the universe.
(Rajesh Kumar Mishra, BARC, Mumbai)
As soon as we take birth in this world, we develop a relationship with our brothers, sisters, mother, father, and so many other people. But the purest relationship one can have is with Krishna, the reservoir of all relationships. The best way to solve relationship problems is to leave all our sadness with Him, because He knows what is best for us.
Relationships begin not with words but in the heart. If a relationship is about to break, it means love, trust, and other divine virtues are missing. These things have their origin in Krishna. Therefore one should reestablish one’s relationship with Him. The best way to solve a relationship problem is to pray together, take prasada together, chant and dance together, and appreciate each other.
(Pushkar Madan, Faridabad, Haryana)
When a relationship soars, I ask myself, what is important for me my false ego or the other person. Krishna is in the heart of every living being. When I hurt someone, it hurts Krishna. Moreover when I wake up the next day and approach Guru and Krishna at the altar, Krishna may hold back His love. Reminding myself that the cause of all conflicts are false ego, envy, greed, lust, pride and illusion, which spoils the rasa in all relationships, I would humbly beg forgiveness, exchange a loving hug in dancing kirtana, and cook or share prasada with the other person. Keeping Sri Guru and Krishna in the center is the secret behind conflict resolution.